Zweihander: A Rough Night at the Three Feathers

It’s been a long day’s travel, and the sun is just beginning to go down as you see an inn in the distance. As you draw closer, you see the sign of three feathers hanging outside, and notice that the place is unusually busy.

Inside, the inn is bustling. servants are hurrying to and fro, and the innkeeper is engrossed in conversation with a scribe who carries a visibly bulging purse. “Welcome,” he says at last, “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, but as you can see, we have a distinguished guest tonight—the Gravin Maria-Ulrike von Liebewitz of Ambosstein, no less…I hardly know whether I’m coming or going with it all. Now, then—you want a room? What am I saying, of course you do. Ah, excuse me again, I’ll only be a moment.” You wait for another few minutes as he directs a train of servants to the Gravin’s rooms. “So sorry,” he says as he returns to you, “It really is mad this evening.”

This scenario was run by Noah of the Maple Syrup, Blood Money podcast.

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  1. Garalt is the best thing ever!

  2. So how what did you guys think of the system? it seemed a little admin heavy but you seemed to have a lot of fun with it.

  3. This was the BEST I’ve listened to in a while. You guys are all amazing. Keep up the good work

  4. This was amazingly funny!

  5. there’s this amazing outsized picturebook called Full Moon Soup, or, The Fall of the Hotel Splendide

    it’s 10ish two-page full-cross-section illustrations of the events at the Hotel Splendide one night, with each turn of the page revealing the state of the entire hotel a few minutes later as it decays from a normal evening to a whole series of fun apocalypses going on side by side

    I think you guys successfully Splendid’d this adventure and it was pretty great

    system does not seem like my thing but hey, body barrels

  6. Fantastic roleplaying from the entire cast. I was laughing throughout the episode. This is definitely one of RPPR’s best of. Credit has to go to Noah for balancing six (or more) independent plots with the antics of six people at the table. Garalt the sexyman, Aaron the ball buster and the spot-light stealing barber-surgeon Oger were all hilarious. Again, this has to go on best of RPPR.

  7. Thanks for listening everybody! Glad y’all enjoyed it!

  8. This has got to be one of the absolute funniest games I’ve ever heard on this site, thank you so much every one of you it was a delight to listen to!

  9. Missed opportunity in weapon naming. As Aaron’s Halfling was using a set of knucks, and the region he tended to punch…

    “I ready my junkleduster”


  10. David you are right. That is the best name.

    This was hilarious!

  11. Junkleduster? What about: “Wedding-tackle-duster”?

  12. “Of course I do not grind the bones of humans to make my bread!” Dr. Buttmann bellowed, windows rattling and spittle flying. “I am an ogre, yes… But not merely an ogre! I am an OGRE BARBER-SURGEON!”

    Outside, three pigeons plummeted from the sky, stunned by the loud shouts coming from within the inn.

    “These are civilized times! An age of reason, and enlightenment!” Dr. Buttmann went on. “I grind the bones of humans to treat their bone-related medical problems, and then use the money they pay me to BUY my bread! ‘Tis a far better arrangement, for all parties involved!”

    The ogre started counting on his massive fingers. “My patients never complain about bone-related issues more than once, and I can afford to buy both bread, and ale, and venison, and ale, and mutton, and ale, and occasionally a small snifter of brandy, mixed into a keg of ale!”

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