Cthulhu Dark: Revelations

Pretty sure this is how it happenedThis scenario was played with the excellent ultra-rules-light game, Cthulhu Dark. Download the free PDF and try it out yourself!

In a small town in the Midwest, things are about to change. A priest has turned to desperate measures to see his wish come true: to see the bible brought to life. Unfortunately, when the priest resorts to using a ritual in a book of the occult to make his wish come to life, bad things happen. Find out in this scenario what happens when the bible is literally made true as interpreted by Yog Sothoth!

  35 comments for “Cthulhu Dark: Revelations

  1. crawlkill
    November 22, 2011 at 8:10 am

    ROSS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ZERO SHIFT

    tragic news from New Arcadia aside god damn Cthulhu Dark sounds fun. I didn’t realize it was PvP-encouraged.

    Caleb, did you just google, like, ShittyThingsTheBibleWantsToDoToYou.au or something? I had visions of young Caleb at Mormon homeschool learning chapter and verse on all possible miracles, just so he’d always know.

    so much fun.

  2. SomeCoolGuy
    November 22, 2011 at 8:19 am

    Insomnia serves me well once again. I’ve yet to listen to this, but judging from the description it sounds Real Good. Thanks Ross~

  3. Caleb
    November 22, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I googled some stuff–like the swimming axe head from Kings–but most of it was stuff I remember from Sunday school. When you keep asking how Balaam can talk to his donkey or why Jesus didn’t correct those people claiming the mentally handicapped were possessed by the devil, the nice old lady teaching love and acceptance tends to tell you to shut the hell up. What can I say? Her lessons stuck.

  4. SomeCoolGuy
    November 22, 2011 at 11:26 am

    Well, now that I’ve actually listened to the game, it certainly didn’t disappoint. I agree with pretty much what crawlkill said, props to Caleb and all that, and even better, I actually learned something from this. Namely that God really does hate you and wants to to die in a terrible, if inventive, way. Oh, and one more thing,

    Ross, you’re a dick.

  5. iceemaker
    November 22, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    This would be a fantastic Killsplosion scenario. The Bible is becoming truth all around the players, and they need to escape the town to be victorious. Cue PvP shenanigans.

  6. Guycep
    November 22, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Ross Payton, forever trapped in a time loop of almost getting some. Perfection

  7. Z
    November 22, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    this was a really interesting scenario until the players realized they were playing Cthulhu Dark

    and then it became hilarious

  8. James
    November 22, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    I haven’t laughed so hard at one of your actual plays in quite some time. I think the best is when the comic book guy puts two in the eyes. It just went downhill from there.

  9. Boyos
    November 23, 2011 at 3:28 am

    Haha, Great AP, would love to see more people in the game at a time. 3 was good, but 6 would be amazing.

  10. Journ-O-LST-3
    November 23, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Ross is a monster. But he’s so happy and jolly when he’s a player in a game like this that I can’t help but enjoy it.

    And thanks to you I’ve been sold on Cthulhu Dark. For all the wrong reasons.

  11. Elias Swift
    November 23, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    It’s times like this that I laugh, wondering why the old preacher seemed to ignore all the crazy stuff like this and focused on parables, considering the weird stuff is more awesome.

    Anyways, this scenario was pretty interesting, and it made me crack up! Definitely going to be checking this game out.

    One thing I noticed though, if my understanding of the rules are correct… The more insane you are, the harder it is to go insane. Which is the exact opposite of normal Cthulhu.

  12. November 24, 2011 at 1:27 am

    Best AP ever. Even better than the 73rd and final session of Wrath of Cthulhu.

    I’ll try to say this cryptically enough not to be a spoiler, but why didn’t Tom’s character get possessed after the eyes thing?

  13. Scurvy
    November 24, 2011 at 2:18 am

    @Capitalocracy

    I wondered that too at first, then I just figured that if every “legend” was happening at once and everyone applicable for each one was affected… every single person in town would have been dead within minutes. So it made sense to contain some of the batshit craziness to specific encounters. The easier excuse is because that’s the way Yog and/or Caleb wanted it to be. πŸ˜‰

    I think having the single possessed person was more than enough given how that encounter went. Can you imagine how that would have went down if everyone on that short bus had been possessed in the same manner? Nuking the town from orbit would be the only option at that point, and I’m not even sure that would work.

  14. November 24, 2011 at 2:20 am

    @Scurvy

    Orbit? Around what? πŸ˜‰

  15. Scurvy
    November 24, 2011 at 7:10 am


    Damn you flat world! πŸ˜€

    Although it’s still possible that the corpses of Tom’s characters might form a new planet out there in the void. It depends a lot on just how big his character’s family was.

  16. SomeCoolGuy
    November 25, 2011 at 8:07 am

    Eh, to be fair, I think that only applies to people that are naturally handicapped. Like, if he had been born blind, he’d have been possessed, but since he did it too himself and his blindness was caused by a tangible, outside source, he’s fine (If crazy and blind), ya know?

    At least that’s my understanding of it.

  17. Jacob
    November 26, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    I pity Caleb. I… do not pity Ross! πŸ™‚

  18. Frank
    November 27, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Drew almost pulled an Aaron with Eve.
    I got a good laugh out of the “Oh God” reaction. When it was all said and done, sure, Ross was killed while being raped by the oldest woman in the universe, but at least he didn’t run. πŸ˜‰

  19. December 2, 2011 at 1:25 am

    Alright, this game needs to be run by everyone.
    Especially glad that it was Yog-Sothoth. I was waiting for Tom to do more, but his double deaths were sweet!

  20. Nomad4life
    December 3, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    I thought this was actually one of the creepier CoC games at first. The game kind of derailed once players started screwing each other other and became pretty goofy after that. Oh, it was awesomely funny, it just wasn’t what I think of as CoC. That said, if I were ever to run Cthulhu Dark myself I’d probably take that aspect of the game out completely because it really shifted the tone of the game.

  21. Dan
    December 4, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    Again, Loved it. I try to respect all faiths, but if you can’t laugh at yourself oh well. The thing I liked the most was the way you guys had disposable characters. It was like alot of walk on characters that had the red shirts from star trek. I almost choked when ROSS became a character. Great insurance policy. Listening to your sessions is like being with my old RPG group.
    Thanks and looking forward to more sessions.

  22. Bill Delgado
    December 10, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I’m not sure about the PvP stuff, but I liked the overall dark tone. I think your CoC games are the best ones.

    As events unfolded, I found myself remembering stories from my own Sunday School lessons from when I was a kid.

  23. Gaigaia
    December 24, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I’ve recommended this system at the forum. I don’t know if it helped or not, but I’m very happy that you did an ap of this. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched one of these, since I dislike the common cthulhu games and gurps. I heard the changeling one, and I hope you will be doing more of these. I can give some more recomendation, and I can translate some portuguese rpgs if you are interested.

    Merry christimas, also.

    ^^

  24. Chados
    November 7, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    That was surprisingly hilarious. I actually felt sorry for Tom’s characters for once! πŸ˜‰

  25. January 9, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    I heard talk of this on one of the “con” Q&A sessions, glad to hear it.

    This is brilliant, it should be turned into a purchasable scenario, one that you could use in
    β€’ Cthulhu Dark
    β€’ Gumshoe / Fear Itself
    β€’ Auto Duel

    Seriously!

  26. January 9, 2014 at 5:03 pm
  27. January 9, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    Thanks for the link, Ross!

    RPPR is worth every penny of its low low low subscription price!

    Subscribe now!

  28. Caleb
    January 12, 2014 at 2:56 pm
  29. January 13, 2014 at 10:36 am

    Caleb

    I happily monied your coffers for 2 of your scenarios as soon as Ross be-linked me. Florida pay pal, January 9th, 6:30 our time!

    I super appreciate the system-agnostic setting set-up, never “got it” for some reason, until this thread, nice!

  30. darren t.
    February 6, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    Was expecting the moment when Ross was going for a livestock (unit) that he wound up finding some emu/ostrich farm. Great show guys.

  31. September 5, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    A scene from this game has been covered by RPPR Illustrated – part of the RPPR Patreon. Backers can see the picture here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/3311002

  32. Elias Smuts
    March 10, 2016 at 5:29 am

    Saw the ending coming, honestly, but that didn’t make this any less funny.

  33. Matt G.
    February 3, 2017 at 2:30 am

    I see other people making comments and would suggest if you are planning on running this again (or publishing it as a scenario.) I would suggest not making the priest a Catholic, if only for the fact that the Church does not teach a literal interpretation of the bible. other than that, it’s pretty accurate to Mid-Western/ Southern United States.

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