Rifts: The Eliminators

In a grimdark post-apocalyptic future, where the earth has been devastated by nuclear war, dimensional rifts and Nazi cos-players, only a few gritty heroes stand between a new apocalypse, a post-post apocalypse or a meta apocalypse or an apocalypse squared or a neo-apocalypse or an epic apocalypse or a mega damage apocalypse or a dragon cyborg juicer apocalypse wielding a rune blade with Atlantean tattoos. Yeah. HARDCORE.

In other words, I ripped off the plot of a movie called The Eliminators and forced the players into a game of Rifts.  Deal with it.

  26 comments for “Rifts: The Eliminators

  1. Sam
    September 30, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Oh my god, it’s full of stars.

  2. Moondog
    September 30, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    Always did like Palladium games.

  3. Z
    September 30, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    This is, like, deconstructivist roleplaying.

  4. iceemaker
    October 1, 2011 at 1:40 am

    What in God’s name did I just listen to?

    I believe “post-post modernist roleplaying” may be a more accurate label.

  5. Jay Dugger
    October 1, 2011 at 1:56 am

    Rifts?
    I’ll pass on this one, thanks.

  6. October 1, 2011 at 3:48 am

    I thought any second I was gonna hear the sound of Caleb losing his mind and strangling Ross. Easily the strangest game I’ve heard in years.

  7. crawlkill
    October 1, 2011 at 9:51 am

    so this is Rifts? and Cinnabar’s worse? I think you’ve got a duty to the world.

  8. Seejo.Crux
    October 1, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Haven’t even pushed play, and I’m already excited.

  9. Vexus
    October 1, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    A delightfully goofy session. As a Caleb fanboy I was most pleased with his reactions to the complete nonsensical nature of the story.

  10. SageNytell
    October 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    “Look! This book is now a live snake!”
    “Would anyone like some corpse-mead?”
    Bravo, gentlemen. Bravo.

  11. Omega
    October 1, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    … Well, that was a thing.

    A HILARIOUS Thing, that is.

  12. Omega
    October 2, 2011 at 1:13 am

    Also, kudos to Thad (At least I think it was Thad, my memory’s a bit fuzzy) for the Brock Sampson impression.

  13. beej
    October 2, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    I have a friend who oboslutely loves Rifts. After hearing this, I understand all the hate you guys have flamed at this game.

    The only enjoyable thing about this game was the rage and disgust flowing off of Caleb. I could picture Palpatine behind him going ‘Good..good. Give in to your anger. Strike down your fellow gamers and take you’re place at my side.”

  14. Scurvy
    October 2, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    I honestly didn’t think any game would come close to your WUSHU League game for sheer ridiculousness, but then you went down Rifts alley to WTF lane.

    Kudos to everyone, and I wanna give a shout out to Tom for his hilarious and awesome mandroid crashing through walls with Caleb riding on his back, slapping on new cybernetics as they flee a demon together.

  15. Palladiumaniac
    October 3, 2011 at 7:48 am

    Oh…it’s downloading right now. Can’t wait to hear the thrilling 80’s fueled, megaventure.

  16. October 3, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Woo! My girlfriend left while I was laughing around Jason telling the pirates to go to the other town. I didn’t notice though for about 2hr10min later.

    Don’t run rifts again, I beg you.

  17. Seejo.Crux
    October 4, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    I hate to say it, but you should subject Caleb and friends to more bad games because a lot of your players express their hatred through irony by playing the game as straight-edge as possible. Which is just hilarious in games like Cyberpunk and Rifts.

    Naturally this means you have to record a game of Fatal or Paranoia.

  18. Caleb
    October 4, 2011 at 7:54 pm

    I…I just can’t do Fatal, not even as a joke.

    From what I’ve just read on Wikipedia, Paranoia actually sounds kind of fun.

    Synnibarr might cause me to kill someone, but I’d give it a shot. That’s probably where the comedy could be found.

  19. crawlkill
    October 4, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    that’s how it spelled! a whole five internetminutes were spent trying to filter out the Pokemon results from baffled searches of “Cinnabar rpg hollow moon” availlessly

    and there’s always the lurking pokethulhu

  20. Dom
    October 4, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Paranoia isn’t a bad system at all! It’s just that knowing the rules of the game is treasonous, and you wouldn’t want to seem treasonous to Friend Computer, would you?

  21. malkav11
    October 6, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    Paranoia is not meant for serious roleplaying in the least, but it’s not a bad game.

  22. Rann Xeroxx
    May 5, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    Actually I like Rifts but I always play it much darker then the RPG itself. More like Cuthultech.

  23. Daniel
    January 3, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    This is the best RPPR Actual Play of all time.

  24. Cody
    December 5, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    This game was what made me finally open the file marked “Rifts” on the flash drive filled with RPG stuff my friend gave me.

    I subsequently (mostly) cracked the code of Rifts character-creation, and am now waiting to unleash its absurdity on my victi- err…players.

  25. November 5, 2016 at 11:53 am

    A scene from this episode has been depicted in our monthly RPPR Illustrated for the RPPR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/rppr-illustrated-7173273

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